Let’s talk about modern fiction, and the most annoying trends I’ve been encountering in my intrepid reading adventures. Before you start sending the hate mail, please keep in mind this is only my opinion, and you are certainly free to dissent. Just have to click on that Comment link and fire away. 🙂

Anyone who’s read my blog posts before knows I’m a naturally positive soul (except for when it comes to Rob Zombie remakes). So why this article? I guess because I’m looking for any kindred souls who are equally annoyed by these trends. I have to believe I’m not the only one cringing when I come across these in fiction.

So without further ado, here’s my list, from least annoying to most annoying.

#5 – Present Tense

I get why authors are using present tense – it’s supposed to bring the reader closer to the action, make her feel like she’s right there in the moment. Maybe I’m old school, but reading it feels unnatural to me. Will I refuse to read a book written in present tense? No, that would be silly. But I do notice it and find it a little disorienting.

#4 – Omniscient POV / Switching POV

I’ve written an article called, “How to Choose a POV” on IndiesUnlimited,  in which I discuss the basics of POV. I know I’ve discussed this on author interviews as well, and it seems like there’s always a fantasy author lurking around, waiting to refute me.

Okay, okay, I admit I can see where an omniscient POV is very useful in an epic fantasy. The problem is when I see it in a basic romance, and there it just pisses me off. Why? Probably because I’m jealous. I spent hours combing over my scenes for POV violations, constructing the scene carefully within the limitations of first person. Hours that could have been spent writing the sequel to Connected, developing one of my superpowers, or pondering the existentialist nature of modern sitcoms. To me, omniscient POV in a non-epic tale seems like a cop-out, like the author is just being lazy.

Switching POVs is slightly less annoying, but still confusing, even when it’s done at chapter breaks. This is excusable if the writing is good and I bond with the characters – one of my favorite indie gems, Love at First Plight, was able to pull it off quite nicely. 🙂

#3 – Artificially action-packed opening

I call this the “school bus on fire” gimmick – any time a book opens to a ridiculously dire situation as an attention grabber. I know what you’re thinking – Hey, doesn’t Connected open up with the main protagonist getting hit by a car? Yes, yes it does. Was that my original opening? Nope. I was pressured into it by the argument that this generation of readers has to be hooked with action in the first page, because they all have the attention span of a fly. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I do remember reading classics when I grew up that just meandered at the beginning, taking their time to get to any action or even to the point, for that matter. I recently re-read To Kill a Mockingbird and thought, Ah, the good old days. There’s no way anyone could get away with that now.

But is it necessary in these times to grab the reader as such? Maybe, however that isn’t exactly what I’m talking about for this one. What really annoys me is when it’s done in the manner of that first word – “artificially.” My opening scene, however action-packed it may be, was the real, actual start of my book. I hate it when writers borrow a scene from the black moment as a prologue or start of the book.

A good example is from one of my favorite movies, Megamind. The opening sequence starts with Megamind falling to his death, borrowed directly from the black moment – that scene in the final showdown where it seems as if all hope is lost and the hero is defeated. It works great for that movie, but in most fiction I’ve read it’s confusing and feels like a rip-off, a shortcut the author took to avoid having to come up with a start that was interesting enough on its own merits.

#2 – Random capitalization of words that shouldn’t be capitalized

I really hate this Trend. Because it’s so patronizing for the author to handhold the Reader as such, to say, “This is Important, pay attention.” The first time I saw it was from the viewpoint of a snarky Teenager, which made it even worse. I won’t name names, but I will say a certain Cigarette metaphor was used (don’t even get me started on that). See that was only four Sentences, and still you want to Strangle me now, don’t you?

#1 – Killing off beloved characters

This trend probably started with George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones, but I’m not exactly sure. I read all of the books in that series because my co-worker told me I absolutely needed to. Mind you, medieval male soap operas are not usually my thing. Nonetheless, it was well-written and engaging. I don’t think I have to post a spoiler alert when I say a LOT of characters die in this series – it’s a pop culture reference at this point. And it makes sense given the environment, the plot, and the omnipresent sense of duplicity and deceit that prevails in the books. However, there has been some serious fallout.

Major characters are being killed off left and right in series that aren’t so dark, just because everyone’s doing it. Back in the day, this was unheard of. Authors had enough sense not to do such a horrendous thing, because their readers would never forgive them. The readers would get angry and stop buying their books. This is the natural order of things. But for some reason, people now seemingly want to be totally surprised by losing their favorite characters. It could also be fallout from the whole shock tactic that’s so common in movies or reality TV.

I mentioned in my last blog post about being able to yell at indie authors for killing off a beloved character. Yeah, that did kinda happen with one of my favorite books. I guess it bothers me so much because I’m naturally an emotional person. I joke that I cry at tampon commercials, but I remember actually crying at one of the ads during the Super Bowl one year that had to do with a feminine hygiene product.

Anyway the bottom line is I don’t want to cry unexpectedly. If I’m reading a fun book I was really looking forward to, in which I know and love the characters, and there’s no treacherous monarchy element or disease running rampant, I don’t want to be surprised with a senseless killing. Because I will cry and feel a sense of loss. This is what connected readers do. Don’t put me through that, is all I’m saying. Take the high road. Find a way to save the character at the last minute. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, I promise.

What do you think? Is there some other new trend you see in modern novels that drives you crazy? Please comment, I’d love to hear from you!

PS I’d like to give a shout out to Wally Bock, who informed me the comments weren’t working because of a captcha issue. That’s resolved now, but if you run into any other problems on the site, please let me know.