Writing | Katstiles

batman, superman, wonder woman — Still wondering why Wonder Woman couldn’t have handled the Kryptonite and killed Doomsday…

I want to talk about gaping plot holes. Why? Because it’s something I think about a lot, especially when writing a book about people with super powers. I go over every scene, thinking about the powers on the table or even powers of characters that aren’t there, trying to look at it from every angle. My biggest fear is that someone will read one of my books and say something like, “Well why can’t Tommy see that tiny clue that unlocks the whole mystery?” or “How come Roz didn’t have a vision of that?” With book one, it was a little easier to control, because there were a set number of powers. Book two is a different beast all together. As with any good sequel, you have to up your game, and Connected 2 has no fewer than six new powers revealed. So if you’re wondering why the heck it’s taking so long to get the book out, that’s part of the problem. 🙂 I’m not going to lie, that and life in general (I promise, it’ll be here soon).

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I’m wondering if I’m overthinking it, which is an annoying habit of mine. I have to wonder when I see so many popular movies with HUGE plot holes. To illustrate this, I’ll pick two cartoon movies, “Home,” and “Inside Out.” Okay, I know what you’re thinking, why not a horror movie? I don’t know about you, but for me the gaping plot holes become more apparent the more times I watch a movie. And because I’m a parent, I’ve seen cartoon movies far more times than any sane person should.

home movie boov — J. Lo is the name of Oh in the book, so it wasn’t surprising to see her in the cast for the movie.

“Home,” is based off the fantastic novel, “The True Meaning of Smekday,” by Adam Rex. If you haven’t read the book, go purchase it now. I know it’s not indie, but it’s so much fun. The movie is fun too, I mean Jim Parsons just blesses anything he’s in. I digress, the gaping plot hole in “Home” has to do with technology and aliens. I understand the desire to make the movie less “heavy” in subject matter than the book, so they came up with this new plot of Oh sending out an email to everyone in the galaxy. Here’s the problem for me: I’m in IT.

system administrator — Even this guy could’ve figured it out…

Really, you’re telling me an advanced alien race with the power of intergalactic travel plus the ability to mod an automobile to fly using slushy machines can’t recall a simple email or change a user’s password? There isn’t a single system administrator in the entire Boov collective? Humans have been able to do this since the early versions of Outlook and Windows. I get that it’s a cartoon and I’m supposed to suspend my disbelief, but I feel like the writers just got lazy.

inside out emotions — Of course Joy is my favorite emotion 🙂

I really love “Inside Out” – it’s such a fun movie, and it teaches children that it’s okay to experience all your emotions, that it’s normal and healthy to feel sadness sometimes. And the casting was perfect in that movie… Amy Poehler is just a genius. But upon watching it for the hundredth time, I discovered two plot holes. One is more minor, the kind of thing you could excuse because the characters maybe just didn’t think of it. It’s when Joy and Sadness run into the mind workers that are clearing out old memories. One of the mind workers sends up the Triple Dent gum commercial, and it goes straight to headquarters. So my question is – why didn’t Joy just send up the core memories then? Obviously they still would’ve had to get back, but it would’ve solved half the problem.

inside out joy fear balls — It takes a lot of balls to try to get away with this major plot hole.

The second plot hole is the more offensive one, and I only discovered it recently. It’s towards the end, when Fear decides to quit and gets himself sucked up the tube, only to be spit back out because emotions can’t quit. If Fear couldn’t get sucked up in the tube, why were Joy and Sadness able to get sucked up in that same tube? That one is more unforgiveable – you can’t explain it away with intention, it’s not like the tube can differentiate an emotion trying to escape versus an accidental foray into the tube. Disney writers are probably some of the best in the world. It’s difficult to get anything to appeal to such a wide range of audience; they really do have to entertain the parents as much as the children. So why did they allow that to sneak through? Did they just not care? Or am I over-analyzing the whole thing?

How about you, what are some of your favorite gaping plot holes? And do you think this is something to be concerned with when writing a book, or are you of the opinion that I’m totally deranged? Post a comment, let me know what you think!

Let’s talk about modern fiction, and the most annoying trends I’ve been encountering in my intrepid reading adventures. Before you start sending the hate mail, please keep in mind this is only my opinion, and you are certainly free to dissent. Just have to click on that Comment link and fire away. 🙂

Anyone who’s read my blog posts before knows I’m a naturally positive soul (except for when it comes to Rob Zombie remakes). So why this article? I guess because I’m looking for any kindred souls who are equally annoyed by these trends. I have to believe I’m not the only one cringing when I come across these in fiction.

So without further ado, here’s my list, from least annoying to most annoying.

#5 – Present Tense

Embrace the past — Because then is so now

I get why authors are using present tense – it’s supposed to bring the reader closer to the action, make her feel like she’s right there in the moment. Maybe I’m old school, but reading it feels unnatural to me. Will I refuse to read a book written in present tense? No, that would be silly. But I do notice it and find it a little disorienting.

#4 – Omniscient POV / Switching POV

I’ve written an article called, “How to Choose a POV” on IndiesUnlimited, in which I discuss the basics of POV. I know I’ve discussed this on author interviews as well, and it seems like there’s always a fantasy author lurking around, waiting to refute me.

Cool Hobbit pic — Your book entitled, “My Sparkling Zombie Boyfriend” is no epic fantasy

Okay, okay, I admit I can see where an omniscient POV is very useful in an epic fantasy. The problem is when I see it in a basic romance, and there it just pisses me off. Why? Probably because I’m jealous. I spent hours combing over my scenes for POV violations, constructing the scene carefully within the limitations of first person. Hours that could have been spent writing the sequel to Connected, developing one of my superpowers, or pondering the existentialist nature of modern sitcoms. To me, omniscient POV in a non-epic tale seems like a cop-out, like the author is just being lazy.

Switching POVs is slightly less annoying, but still confusing, even when it’s done at chapter breaks. This is excusable if the writing is good and I bond with the characters – one of my favorite indie gems, Love at First Plight, was able to pull it off quite nicely. 🙂

#3 – Artificially action-packed opening

burning school buses are a great way to start a novel — And you thought you could open with just your character’s thoughts or some witty dialogue… Silly rabbit

I call this the “school bus on fire” gimmick – any time a book opens to a ridiculously dire situation as an attention grabber. I know what you’re thinking – Hey, doesn’t Connected open up with the main protagonist getting hit by a car? Yes, yes it does. Was that my original opening? Nope. I was pressured into it by the argument that this generation of readers has to be hooked with action in the first page, because they all have the attention span of a fly. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I do remember reading classics when I grew up that just meandered at the beginning, taking their time to get to any action or even to the point, for that matter. I recently re-read To Kill a Mockingbird and thought, Ah, the good old days. There’s no way anyone could get away with that now.

But is it necessary in these times to grab the reader as such? Maybe, however that isn’t exactly what I’m talking about for this one. What really annoys me is when it’s done in the manner of that first word – “artificially.” My opening scene, however action-packed it may be, was the real, actual start of my book. I hate it when writers borrow a scene from the black moment as a prologue or start of the book.

Megamind and Minion — Megamind & Minion, in all their animated villainy

A good example is from one of my favorite movies, Megamind. The opening sequence starts with Megamind falling to his death, borrowed directly from the black moment – that scene in the final showdown where it seems as if all hope is lost and the hero is defeated. It works great for that movie, but in most fiction I’ve read it’s confusing and feels like a rip-off, a shortcut the author took to avoid having to come up with a start that was interesting enough on its own merits.

#2 – Random capitalization of words that shouldn’t be capitalized

I really hate this Trend. Because it’s so patronizing for the author to handhold the Reader as such, to say, “This is Important, pay attention.” The first time I saw it was from the viewpoint of a snarky Teenager, which made it even worse. I won’t name names, but I will say a certain Cigarette metaphor was used (don’t even get me started on that). See that was only four Sentences, and still you want to Strangle me now, don’t you?

#1 – Killing off beloved characters

It would be sad if Tyrion died — Being a character in one of George R. R. Martin’s books is akin to being a red shirt on Star Trek

This trend probably started with George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones, but I’m not exactly sure. I read all of the books in that series because my co-worker told me I absolutely needed to. Mind you, medieval male soap operas are not usually my thing. Nonetheless, it was well-written and engaging. I don’t think I have to post a spoiler alert when I say a LOT of characters die in this series – it’s a pop culture reference at this point. And it makes sense given the environment, the plot, and the omnipresent sense of duplicity and deceit that prevails in the books. However, there has been some serious fallout.

Major characters are being killed off left and right in series that aren’t so dark, just because everyone’s doing it. Back in the day, this was unheard of. Authors had enough sense not to do such a horrendous thing, because their readers would never forgive them. The readers would get angry and stop buying their books. This is the natural order of things. But for some reason, people now seemingly want to be totally surprised by losing their favorite characters. It could also be fallout from the whole shock tactic that’s so common in movies or reality TV.

poor Spidey crying — I’m with you, Tobey. We can’t all be pretty criers.

I mentioned in my last blog post about being able to yell at indie authors for killing off a beloved character. Yeah, that did kinda happen with one of my favorite books. I guess it bothers me so much because I’m naturally an emotional person. I joke that I cry at tampon commercials, but I remember actually crying at one of the ads during the Super Bowl one year that had to do with a feminine hygiene product.

Anyway the bottom line is I don’t want to cry unexpectedly. If I’m reading a fun book I was really looking forward to, in which I know and love the characters, and there’s no treacherous monarchy element or disease running rampant, I don’t want to be surprised with a senseless killing. Because I will cry and feel a sense of loss. This is what connected readers do. Don’t put me through that, is all I’m saying. Take the high road. Find a way to save the character at the last minute. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, I promise.

What do you think? Is there some other new trend you see in modern novels that drives you crazy? Please comment, I’d love to hear from you!

PS I’d like to give a shout out to Wally Bock, who informed me the comments weren’t working because of a captcha issue. That’s resolved now, but if you run into any other problems on the site, please let me know.

Gaping Plot Holes

Top 5 Annoying Trends in Fiction

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